Here Goes Nothing

by Paul Tabachneck

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credits

released April 16, 2011

Paul Tabachneck: Guitar, Piano, Mouth
Mark Marshall: Bass, Drums, Knobs

Violins on "January" by Gene Back

Produced and engineered by Mark Marshall
Mixed and mastered by Allen Farmelo
Assistant engineer: Rich Crescenti
Assistant mixer: Nicole Pettigrew

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Track Name: Calling You Out
even as my breath goes in and out of time
even as my train of thought goes off its track
even as i mediate the conversation
between the angel and the devil on my back
there's a feeling that we're both supposed to be here
that we have miles to go before we understand

i'm calling you out
calling your name
calling in prayer
that you'll feel the same
i'm calling you out
you're calling me names
i will prove worthy
i will prove worthy
one of these days

we've all got our share of sorrow in our lives
we've all got our failures keeping us in check
but the measure of the mettle of mere mortals
is how we swim with albatrosses on our backs
we could stay here hidden safely in our hovels
or we could face the world with bruised but open hands

i'm calling you out...
Track Name: Wonderful Lie
in the eye of a hurricane
is where your apartment lies
we play at love and cry each other's name
we both know the end is nigh
i'm fine at the time of this writing
no ruse could be more inviting

the wonderful lie that you told me
keeps me hanging hoping
everything'll be all right
the horrible truth is a disaster
gaining on me faster
i'm afraid to go outside
who could ask for more
i'll just hang indoors
with the wonderful lie

i bet you thought it wouldn't resonate
i don't seem like the cloying kind
you'd think i'd like to play it casual
that my interest would wane with time
i'm lost for an explanation
you've changed me at my foundation

the wonderful lie....

i knew it was too good to be true
no one tells it quite as good as you
you're so wonderful...
Track Name: Jerk
i am a jerk
oh, i say things that jerks say
and i do things that jerks do
i play games that only jerks play
it's just the jerk's way
i start out like this on monday
and if you catch me on sunday
i'm mellowing out and getting ready for the next weekly wave

you can't change me now
35 years of vim and vigor
you can't change me now
16 spent calming itchy triggers
you can't change me now
well, my hair got gone as my head got bigger

i am a jerk
yeah, i want things my own way
it's been like that since my first birthday
my first cake was a twinkie
my first word was lame, i'm a jerk
i'm ungrateful and selfish
loving me must be hellish
if every inch that you give me a yard comes away

you can't change me now
35 years of piss and spittle
you can't change me now
six years of beatdowns for playing fiddle
you can't change me now
well my heart got hard as my bones got brittle

still i kiss every baby
i make time for every dog
i give advice when they ask me
link my friends on my blog
i give my seat to old ladies
and take the outside of the sidewalk
yeah, i kiss every baby
i make time for every dog

i am a jerk
but lots of you seem to like me
and my family keeps trying
even though i was born spitting mad vitriol i'm a jerk
i never asked for the title
but some among us who are spiteful
may whisper that i'm not a creature that you wanna know

you can't change me now
35 years of pock-faced jingles
you can't change me now
all this, and ladies, the boy's still single
you can't change me now....
Track Name: Enough
if i say i like you
and you say you like me
over a lukewarm cup of coffee
if i amuse you
and you don’t annoy me
and we agree loneliness gets boring

if we both concede
we share the sweet rapport of lust
but it ain’t love
is it enough?

it could be magic
it could be winning
it could be everything we could be
but it could be tragic
we could be losing
our perfect friendship
just by choosing

not to keep each other’s hearts
in mind and use kid gloves
’cause it ain’t love
but is it enough?

we can’t ignore it
it’s a shame we brought it up
’cause it ain’t love
it’s not enough
Track Name: Home
the neighbors are about to start complainin’ ‘bout the noise in this room
it’s ‘cause we keep ‘em up for hours and it’s always over too soon

our bodies’ conversations
ride a special cadence
rising ‘til we crash to the floor
we smile and hold each other
underneath the covers
flirting ‘til we’re ready once more
when we’re alone
you make me feel like i’m home

my friends at work all tell me i should split before i’m caught in your web
you might as well be tryin’ to kill the roaches just by sayin’ they’re dead

well it may be that the crazy ways that you behave imbue you with a charm all your own
i’m trying not to overanalyze the situation but it’s all that i know
when we’re alone
you make me feel like i’m home

leave the window open
baby it’s too warm to be fall
i feel like i’m home
finally the bitter loneliness i’ve felt for so long
has nowhere to go
you make me feel like i’m home

after so long
and how far i’ve roamed
i’m finally home
Track Name: January
when we hit
when we hit bottom then we know there is nowhere to go but up
that’s something
when we fall
we remember how we did it so we know next time to stop
stop running
stop
running

when you care
you build a barricade and tell yourself you won’t get hurt again
it’s no wonder
but if you dare
dare to level yours i promise that i will not make you raise another

we’ll let the cynics crow
let ‘em talk all night
kiss me soft and warm
we’ll let ‘em hog the mic
we won’t take the bait
let ‘em think they’re right
'cause we’ve got hope
and hope never dies

so stop running

when we hit
when we hit bottom then we know there is nowhere to go
Track Name: Boy Meets Girl
ok
the story so far
girl breaks boy’s heart
boy takes revenge
girl takes a righteous offense
boy licks his wounds
watches cartoons

here’s a tv set
here’s the lights down low
here’s an empty house
here’s a radio
plays the same old song
tells of love gone wrong
like the end of the world
is boy meets girl

ok
it continues like this
girl talks through spite
boy pleads the fifth
boy feels alone and confused
girl just feels used

but here’s a new red dress
here’s a dim-lit bar
here’s a line of shots
while the new jukebox
plays the same old song...

maybe it’s the other way ‘round
it hardly seems to matter now
no one here is losing out

here’s an unwashed dish
here’s a tarnished ring
here’s a wasted year
here’s to more like these
it’s the same old song....
Track Name: Hey Hey Hey
you smile at me sometimes like we’ve got a secret we share
and i’m sprung like a newborn who’s gasping his first breath of air
i don’t know if you come here alone
i don’t know if there’s someone at home
but the first time i saw you my head sent my ships off to war
my heart made a hollowed-out horse to give someone what for
my hands reached for something to play
my lips reached for something to say
but all they’ve come up with was “hey, hey, hey”

hey, hey, hey, you’re all kinds of lovely
hey, hey, hey, i’m all kinds of yours
hey, hey, you’re all kinds of adorable

you’re one of the reasons i come to this bar when it’s late
you’re two of my favorites when i get to drinking this way
and it’s three-fifty going on four
and everyone else has an eye on the door
but i’ve lost all track of the time counting the ways, ways, ways

hey, hey hey...

your sparkling eye brings a shine right to mine
you pass me and i’m in a daze
you send me and it’s just a matter of time
’til i lift my chin up and say, say, say

hey, hey, hey...
Track Name: New York
if you’re thinkin’ ‘bout new york
in the context of our nation
it’s not too far from where you are and i think you might owe yourself a few weeks’ vacation

you could come on up and see me
we’ll try on each other’s daydreams
and find out if we’re everything that we’re cracked up to be or just mistakes in the making

’cause i’ve been waiting
for you to be free
there’s nothing there holding you back
come on up and see me

if you’re thinkin’ ‘bout a new life
if you’re scoutin’ for locations
this has to be the place for you
this city’s full of misfit toys with lives in the making

and i've been waiting...
Track Name: Astoria
i’ve been wandering the streets of astoria
i’ve been trying to find you
so we can talk about the way that we kissed last night
you’re so beautiful i don’t wanna bore you
like i first had a mind to
by saying everything that everyone has said to you for your whole life

i will go anywhere you lead me
’cause i’m sure life is better there
i feel warm
though my breath is spelling out your name in cursive in the air

i’ve been wandering the streets of astoria
rom the quays to the rover
tryin’ to figure out a way that i could set things straight
so you will know i’m not corrupt like they told ya
when you talked to my formers
i’m a boy and life is messy
i was bound to make a few mistakes

i will fall to my knees to find you
pray to gods that i’ve never known
i’ve done wrong
but i don’t think penance means i’ll sepnd my whole life on my own

i’ve been wandering the streets of astoria....